Besides antiquated metaphors, blatant contradictions & redundancies does this sonnet portray a specific feelin

In Solitude





In solitude, I stand alone, save skin %26amp; bone.


Melancholic overtone, growth moves me to roam.


Through symbolic undertones, hope becomes a home.


The multitude, it brands the bone, as I stand, lone.





A sole brotherhood lies without fraternity


Peers on upon like a lucid paternity.


This bleak fraternal order of humanity,


Cheers on and dons a sweet masque of maternity.





In solitude I find, these beams beyond what’s shown.


The seams of father time do seem a fond keystone.


In solitude I find these gleams beyond what’s known.


Muses team to mother rhyme, raising a touchstone.








In solitude I find, the pain of standing lone,


Sharpening the mind ‘gainst an archaic whetstone.

Besides antiquated metaphors, blatant contradictions %26amp; redundancies does this sonnet portray a specific feelin
Yes. The feeling of isolated-disillusionment vs internal meaning and one's resolution or lack of finding such.





Basicly the individual waking to the 'adult-world' as his 'adult-self'. And what better way to do this then with 'apparent' contradictions and metaphors. "4.0" in my book or top-marks.
Reply:Yes. The feeling that the persona is trapped in his world of solitude. Although the state of solitude is always by choice, reading this sonnet makes it feel that solitude has imprisoned and tortured the persona. While solitude brings peace and tranquility into the human heart, i sense that it is also accompanied by "the pain of standing alone", as in the first line of the ending couplet. That is to say, even though detachment from society can transcend one's mind beyond the minds of the ordinary, awaken one's senses and enliven one's poetic muse, there is also a price to pay for all that. The pain, sorrow and loneliness that is slowly creeping once someone chooses to live in solitude.
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"Merry" is a true "empath..." She and you are WAY beyond me...so I can only hope to "exist in your shadows..."





(That was really good...I relate...)





As I've gotten older, I see things much clearer, and now I know that everybody's hurting inside...from one thing that happened, or maybe just a million...I wish my magic eyes would stop looking around...





But sometimes I feel crowded from what I know what I know...





I hear all of the noise...and all of the sound...
Reply:Ah Ha! You are me one year ago. The English teachers had to pull me aside and whip my beautox...





I read this about 12 times. I did this for you, not for me. Now, please allow me to help.





By labeling this a sonnet, you have rendered it useless. This is only shaped like a sonnet.





To write a sonnet, you must begin with a firm grasp of iambic pentameter.





An iamb is a soft syllable followed by a hard one; 'the DOG' or 'aLARM'.





The 'meter' is how many of these iambs you string together in a single line. Pentameter (penta=5) is five iambs, or 10 syllables in a line of poetry.





The dog alarmed us of the coming men


the DOG aLARMED us OF the COMing MEN





If Cinnamon and Annabella had not pulled me aside and whacked me with their ferrules, I would not be the poet I am today...and this happened about one year ago.





Now, the good news. Your story is very good. Hit the books, also, look up trochee (the opposite of iamb).





We'll worry about Homoeotoleuton tomorrow. (Did I spell it right?)





TD
Reply:Please re-read TD's answer if you're serious about writing poetry. When I first read this "sonnet," I thought you were joking.
Reply:A specific feeling?


Yes.


Toothache.